"Kindness and Blackholes" by GK - 7.23.19

Entry Submitted by GK at 11:38 AM EDT on July 23, 2019

This is the week I get super neurotic. Because I get my monthly disability check.

I write the amount which is about 850 then I subtract the 360 for rent and 150 for electric and the 50 for phone and outrageous 75 for WiFi and then around 50 for toiletries and maybe some milk and lettuce. And of course 40 for a tank of gas. This all adds up to about 730.

Then I start figuring the interest I owe at the pawnshop as not to lose certain things I cannot lose. For example I was lent 200 for my external hard drives that literally store every script, book, film, drawing and more I created in 40 years.

All the intellectual property I slaved over. Some that producers talked million dollar deals over. I cannot lose my life's work so I pay the 40 to delay nuking my life another month.

I had a 93% pick up rate at the corporate pawnshop that has stores in almost all the states. I have horrible credit everywhere but here. Sad yes.

Back when I was young and making life decisions I was 100% certain the media moguls would reward my brilliance so I didn't adhere to the rules of good credit.

I had no idea that the people who brought us Magic Kingdoms, cartoons and Outer Space fantasies worshipped Satan.

Then around 2003 when my awakening happened and I got on my virtual horse and rode through the villages screaming the Satanists are coming... the satanists are coming... I was very surprised to find not only did no one believe me but I was officially labeled crazy and put on a watch list.

Rewarded with parking lots and homelessness and gangstalking and whisper campaigns and the resulting isolation and loneliness, I found my own methods in which to cope.

My YouTube channel is full of that surreal sarcasm directed at the torturers. They kept me contained and delighted in turning friends and family against me. They have done the same thing to millions worldwide. They have parties when they drive someone to suicide.

Meanwhile, whereas I dreamt the global currency reset was my salvation and once had millions of dinar and dong... now I only have 27 thousand dinar left and one 500 thousand dong note. Still enough to lock in a reasonable retirement plan if the numbers we have been told are accurate but doubt has definitely infiltrated hope.

One time after running the numbers on my disability check I had 40 dollars left and drove 80 miles to a casino. I hit $1400 and drove like the wind and rescued all my possessions from the pawnshop. That was well over a year ago and every electronic device I own is back gathering interest. Certain items like guitars I can shrug off but other items like my external hard drives or laptop I keep paying the shark interest on because my life work deserves the hope it still has a chance to be part of pop culture history.

People around here have been generous to me. We have all assumed... yep... there is that word... assume... we assumed the RV would have happened already... a thousand times over.

People gave their own nesteggs up to many of us cyber begging because the dinar pumpers made us believe... to our own detriment.

Sterling and the FBI are quite indifferent to the 5 grand they owe me. If I were to get that money back I would pay back people who helped me when they could but are now in the same boat.

The Internet is full of content providers asking for donations. Like virtual street musicians some are virtual street news providers putting videos together we all hope leads to the salvation of decency on this planet.

It seems as though we are making progress to that happy ending right?

https://youtu.be/0cgNoHR2Uzk


I own my mistakes. I know which were bad moves. Dumb, naive, overly hopeful... outright gambles... but I honestly believed good honest effort was rewarded.

We in this circle of truthers still believe that our day draws near but 99%are still under the veil of Baphomet. 20 years after discovering the truth I have barely made a dent in my 5 sisters belief in shiny devils like Hillary or Obama.

It is very discouraging. It is almost as discouraging as knowing I will be broke 5 minutes after I get a welfare check. Then I will sit here another month trying to matter.

http://www.paypal.me/shatteredelbow

Sometimes that extra ten bucks makes a huge difference in my life.

At the risk of being a black hole.
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