Entry Submitted by GK at 12:02 PM EDT on August 20, 2019
BUILDINGS SHOULD HAVE DUCKED, Says Report
New York—Citizens in New York offered an independent report on the World Trade Center Disaster. The report read, “What da fuggg ya think we’re stoopit?”
Another report issued by the Government Bureau of Illusion or the GBI stated unequivocally that the accident could have been avoided and that blame lies at the foundation of the Twin Towers themselves.
Apparently the buildings had been structured for just an event like this. The architecture had steel “duckbeams” that were designed to duck if ever airplanes found themselves flying way too low.
“The Beams are rigid but bendy.” Said one expert who wished he’d said elastic.
Jessica Lang who had been in the fist of King Kong years before hanging off the side of the trade tower confirmed the report. “It is true…they should have and could have ducked yes…but that doesn’t mean they would have avoided the collision…From what I understand those airliners are pretty easy to fly… When we were making King Kong the building kept shaking us off which is why we went over budget.
But the real question is who do you think was more capable of pulling off such an amazing stunt…America or a bunch of unemployed goat herders?”
CULT ABDUCTS CULT
OREGON-Cult-- Children of the six sided skinheaded pentagram Nazis abducted Cult of the 12 dotheaded Satanic Comet hoppers. Experts say they are now twice as crazy.
DISNEY EXECS QUESTION THE WHOLE GOOFY THING
Disney executives announced Monday that the Magic Kingdom will be closed forever. "With all the big paper mache headed costumed characters and strange attractions like Mr. Toads wild ride and It's A Small World...We suddenly had a moment of clarity. At a meeting of the board of Directors someone said, "What in Gods name are we doing? Are we on drugs or what?" The moment of clarity prompted us all to just go home and re-evaluate our lives.
The Magic Kingdom will be turned into a gays only paintball park with pink being the dominant choice for paint. Thursdays will be Homophobe day and heterosexuals are encouraged to stay away in droves.
Furry Tuesdays will be Wednesdays.
FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT SORRY NO SPEAKA DA LANGUAGE
FRANCE OR BELGIUM OR LIBYA OR SOMEWHERE LIKE THAT- CNN Foreign correspondent Mike Smith who questions why he got this assignment found himself red faced as he interviewed a group of foreigners about something big but he wasn't quite sure what that big thing was.
He tried to refer to a little pocket language dictionary but by the time he found the right page the big news was old news and the group of foreigners had to catch a bus full of goats.
So he just made something up. Impressed by his ability to make up a lie so quickly CNN is negotiating with their parent company, the CIA to make him an anchor or a 4-star General. Mike Smith who is not related to any other Mike Smith is writing a book called, “Making shit up fast.” Which is already on the New York Times Bestseller list and expected to stay there even if he never writes the book.
(By the way I wrote these articles between 1998 and 2002. Sort of proves I was 2 decades ahead of the curve on these here internets. Volume 2 coming soon.)
______________________________________________________
If you wish to contact the author of any reader submitted guest post, you can give us an email at UniversalOm432Hz@gmail.com and we'll forward your request to the author.
______________________________________________________
All articles, videos, and images posted on Dinar Chronicles were submitted by readers and/or handpicked by the site itself for informational and/or entertainment purposes.
Dinar Chronicles is not a registered investment adviser, broker dealer, banker or currency dealer and as such, no information on the website should be construed as investment advice. We do not support, represent or guarantee the completeness, truthfulness, accuracy, or reliability of any content or communications posted on this site. Information posted on this site may or may not be fictitious. We do not intend to and are not providing financial, legal, tax, political or any other advice to readers of this website.
Copyright © 2019 Dinar Chronicles
BUILDINGS SHOULD HAVE DUCKED, Says Report
New York—Citizens in New York offered an independent report on the World Trade Center Disaster. The report read, “What da fuggg ya think we’re stoopit?”
Another report issued by the Government Bureau of Illusion or the GBI stated unequivocally that the accident could have been avoided and that blame lies at the foundation of the Twin Towers themselves.
Apparently the buildings had been structured for just an event like this. The architecture had steel “duckbeams” that were designed to duck if ever airplanes found themselves flying way too low.
“The Beams are rigid but bendy.” Said one expert who wished he’d said elastic.
Jessica Lang who had been in the fist of King Kong years before hanging off the side of the trade tower confirmed the report. “It is true…they should have and could have ducked yes…but that doesn’t mean they would have avoided the collision…From what I understand those airliners are pretty easy to fly… When we were making King Kong the building kept shaking us off which is why we went over budget.
But the real question is who do you think was more capable of pulling off such an amazing stunt…America or a bunch of unemployed goat herders?”
CULT ABDUCTS CULT
OREGON-Cult-- Children of the six sided skinheaded pentagram Nazis abducted Cult of the 12 dotheaded Satanic Comet hoppers. Experts say they are now twice as crazy.
DISNEY EXECS QUESTION THE WHOLE GOOFY THING
Disney executives announced Monday that the Magic Kingdom will be closed forever. "With all the big paper mache headed costumed characters and strange attractions like Mr. Toads wild ride and It's A Small World...We suddenly had a moment of clarity. At a meeting of the board of Directors someone said, "What in Gods name are we doing? Are we on drugs or what?" The moment of clarity prompted us all to just go home and re-evaluate our lives.
The Magic Kingdom will be turned into a gays only paintball park with pink being the dominant choice for paint. Thursdays will be Homophobe day and heterosexuals are encouraged to stay away in droves.
Furry Tuesdays will be Wednesdays.
FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT SORRY NO SPEAKA DA LANGUAGE
FRANCE OR BELGIUM OR LIBYA OR SOMEWHERE LIKE THAT- CNN Foreign correspondent Mike Smith who questions why he got this assignment found himself red faced as he interviewed a group of foreigners about something big but he wasn't quite sure what that big thing was.
He tried to refer to a little pocket language dictionary but by the time he found the right page the big news was old news and the group of foreigners had to catch a bus full of goats.
So he just made something up. Impressed by his ability to make up a lie so quickly CNN is negotiating with their parent company, the CIA to make him an anchor or a 4-star General. Mike Smith who is not related to any other Mike Smith is writing a book called, “Making shit up fast.” Which is already on the New York Times Bestseller list and expected to stay there even if he never writes the book.
(By the way I wrote these articles between 1998 and 2002. Sort of proves I was 2 decades ahead of the curve on these here internets. Volume 2 coming soon.)
______________________________________________________
If you wish to contact the author of any reader submitted guest post, you can give us an email at UniversalOm432Hz@gmail.com and we'll forward your request to the author.
______________________________________________________
All articles, videos, and images posted on Dinar Chronicles were submitted by readers and/or handpicked by the site itself for informational and/or entertainment purposes.
Dinar Chronicles is not a registered investment adviser, broker dealer, banker or currency dealer and as such, no information on the website should be construed as investment advice. We do not support, represent or guarantee the completeness, truthfulness, accuracy, or reliability of any content or communications posted on this site. Information posted on this site may or may not be fictitious. We do not intend to and are not providing financial, legal, tax, political or any other advice to readers of this website.
Copyright © 2019 Dinar Chronicles
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