Entry Submitted by Nancy L at 12:48 PM EDT on September 9, 2020
I had the most difficult of difficult encounters yesterday evening. In order for it to happen I had invited my close family member out to dinner. He lives an hour away from me. As we were seated I didn't know what I was doing. I was listening to my body and not knowing how to start, I began arbitrarily with a long feeling monologue about what I cared about - Oracle Girl's work. I was dreaming. That was too much for my close family member, his slave self attacked. And he exploded into abusive case building to prove I had always been invalid. His lifetime of trained total devaluation of me came to the fore with heady justified vengeance. The vibration was dense. He demanded that despite what he was saying, that we did have a connection. I tried to keep sharing what was hidden, stating my truth. In this frame of mind we went walking after dinner, and the rest of his rage erupted....I was trembling inside. I kept stating my simple truth. Then an absolute apex was reached. We stopped in the middle of the sidewalk in a stand-still of fury. It was an impasse, at that exact moment the frequency shifted, transmuted. The slave self had been purified and was silent as we resumed walking. We continued on until we came upon a scene of immense beauty across the street. I pointed it out ...the huge lush greens, the creamy painted wood and the complementary lavender maroons that made up the landscaping in front of us. We were stopped in beauty. For the rest of the walk, I kept being struck by beauty, the redwood trunks, the plantings, the tree tops against the sky, and at the same time I felt very still inside my body. I chatted with him about his kids and this and that, but all the time within there was this profound stillness.
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